When I am working with clients, I often have to pull back to the basics, and help them understand the fundamentals of how we use our perception to create our realities- and how these perceptions affect our relationships with each other and ourselves.
Everyone has a movie of their life playing on a daily basis, and you are the main character.
Every thought you have, every habit you have created is shaping your reality.
All of the people in your life are playing supporting roles.
We have roles we expect our husbands, moms, friends, co-workers, etc. to play, and for the most part, it's reasonable. We all know a spouse should be supportive and loving and committed. A friend should be someone we can trust and be ourselves around.
When there is trouble- it is usually because the people who are close to us (playing our supporting roles) aren't showing up the way we want them to.
We subconsciously place expectations on those around us based on a need we don't feel like is being met.
Now this is important to understand when you are viewing your relationships, but just as important to understand that sometimes people don't respond well to you because you aren't showing up in their lives (movie) the way they want you to.
What we need to stop and realize is that those expectations are unfair because they don't fully understand everything that is going on in your life. But we do the same thing to others as well. We want them to show up a certain way not realizing what might be going on in their lives either.
Here is where the work comes in- Ironically WE often don’t stop to check in with ourselves to see what needs we have that aren’t being met. We just want those around us to regulate our emotions for us. And what is the usual standard? Happiness.
If you find yourself being frustrated with those who are the closest to you, I challenge you to stop and meditate for a minute around:
What emotions are you currently feeling?
What thoughts are you having that are supporting those feelings?
What needs do you have that aren’t being met?
Is it reasonable to ask those around you for help with this issue?
Sometimes it is! But those people who love and care about you can’t read your subconscious mind. You are in charge of understanding, and expressing those needs. This is a perfect time to grow in your emotional maturity.
**And sometimes it might be more of an issue that needs your own compassion and care.**