If you have ever watched a home improvement show, or have done any remodeling yourself, you understand the process that has to occur for any sort of significant change to happen….
There are usually sledgehammers and crowbars involved!
We know that ripping out existing carpet, taking down cabinets and sometimes even walls, is necessary. Then the unexpected happens- once the studs are exposed, you see the leaks that need to be fixed, and the wood that has water damage that needs to be taken out or shored up. It’s a process! And in that process-
it looks much worse before it gets better.
This is also an analogy to life my friends. When you are evaluating your current situation and seeing what old habits and beliefs aren’t serving you- and what changes you need to make, it isn’t always a smooth transition. It really does get worse before it gets better. You are opening old wounds that need to be “fixed” or healed. You may even discover beliefs that have been weakened by the water damage of tears- loss of trust, expectation, or unmet needs.
I have clients lament that they realized they needed to establish boundaries, but once they got to the root of the issue there was resentment, and loss of trust with those who were constantly pushing those boundaries. It was an ongoing process of putting that picket fence back up, and regaining control over their agency. Healing, and then healing again. It is not easy.
There is a second part to this process though, and it can be fun and empowering- and that is intentionally putting back into your life what you do want to see. This is where the work of trusting yourself, your high power, God, and those who are qualified to guide you through the process comes in.
Wouldn’t you hire a General Contractor, and maybe even a design team to guide you through a remodel?
So why wouldn’t you do that with your life?
You still get to make all the choices, but sometimes they show you things you can’t see on your own. They have tools you can use to help you rebuild the things that were lost.
This is why I love coaching so much, and why I am going back to school to become a therapist. There is nothing I love more than helping folks redesign their lives in a way that not only serves them better, but those around them too.
This is also why I cannot separate God from this process. He is such an integral part of helping you to see your inherent worth- your strengths, your infinite value, and supporting you in your weakness. He heals. He sees the big picture. He knows what the final reveal can be.
So when you are trying to change for the better, be kind to yourself. Things often get worse before they get better, but that’s just part of the process.
Don’t give up in the demo phase. It’s overwhelming and can cause some folks to get stuck there for years! Get your “design team” together and start working on the end goal.
I can’t end this post without adding my favorite quote from C.S. Lewis:
“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.